I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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