U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
