Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize