Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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