dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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