it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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