Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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