we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
