My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
honey bunches of taint.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
