do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
