but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
