youre lurking in front of me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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