you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
