Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
