I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
