You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
