I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
