Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
