Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
