He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
