we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
