best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
