I wanna bring you to show and tell
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
