I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
