Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize