IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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