whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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