he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
