he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize