Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
