Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
