508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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