i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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