what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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