I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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