1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize