She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
