you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
