I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
