I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
