Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
