Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
