i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
