I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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