I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't deserve a penis
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
