The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
