So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
