Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize