my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
