Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Having a random hookup so left but love u
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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