could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
