Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
