I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
