It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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