coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
