When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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