Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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