My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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