garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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