Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
