i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
