Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
