Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
