Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
