ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
