that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
