Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
