Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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