they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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