a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
