i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
