Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
