He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
