you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
