You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
