There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
