i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Randomize
