apparently the secret to your success is patron
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
