I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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